Im listening! Im exciting myself to become more acquainted with S.A.G.E. ! Im so appreciating you all in reaching out to us to help us learn. This is totally new to me, & Im challenging myself to learn to learn & speak the language. Thank you!
Thank you so much for writing. And thank you for your energy and openness — we’re appreciating you right back. The way you said “I’m challenging myself” stood out. That use of language is a beautiful demonstration of S.A.G.E. and agency. We excite ourselves to witness people experimenting with S.A.G.E. in real time.
We recognize — just from the way you wrote your message — that you’re not only learning this language, you may already be starting to live it.
I AM DEFINITELY LISTENING AND AWAITING EACH NEW PODCAST AND POST‼️
I haven’t had much opportunity to use the new language, but I move myself each time I listen to your podcast and wish I could be there during the actual time of the podcast, but due to the other things in my life, I’m usually listening to it after, and so appreciate that I can listen to it repeatedly.
A very important person in my life did his best to share this brilliant form of communication with me when I was not clear enough to get it.. at the time I was operating at a substandard form ofOS2, and lost myself and our relationship.
I was so grateful when you sent out the blueprint which gave me so much clarity. I read it the very moment,
I opened the email, when first offered it. And I have not missed any of your podcast I am definitely listening, and I am committed to taking full responsibility for the meaning in my life and, in my experiences, and in my relationships, from now forward.
PLEASE keep doing this. I believe that as we share this new way of living in communicating with the people in our lives that it will reach a critical point…
Thank you for this moving message. It’s clear that you’re engaging with the Blueprint and the podcasts with deep sincerity and openness. When you wrote that the Blueprint “gave you clarity,” what I see is that you clarified yourself—and that distinction matters. That’s agency. That’s the shift we’re speaking to.
Your willingness to take responsibility for meaning and experience comes through strongly. And your voice adds to the momentum. We’ll keep going, and we’re grateful you’re with us.
Jake, this is brilliant. I can 'feel' your voice. I am one of the fortunate ones who did this original work with John and Joyce Weir who selected Jake and Hannah as their successors. This work has been pivotal in my life. Has changed my perspective of Life. And it stays with me. I urge anyone who reads this to take this golden, brilliant opportunity to shift your inner perspective entirely for the better. You will experience EXPERIENCE life differently. You will be present in a way that is new. And exciting. Luminous. You will feel a clarity of being that you have not experienced before. Give yourself this Gift of feeling more alive than you ever have. Do the work.
Coming from someone who experienced being with John and Joyce—and lives the orientation—your words carry weight, warmth, and wisdom. I’m deeply grateful for your voice in this space.
You remind us what’s possible when this work becomes embodied, not just understood. There’s a lived luminosity in what you wrote—one I hope others will feel drawn toward.
Thank you for encouraging others to take the leap. For showing what it looks like when we do.
Thanks for bringing Percept (the original name) / S.A.G.E. (the new name) to life.
What Sarno did for chronic physical pain, we’re attempting to do for emotional pain.
He challenged the conventional wisdom—he questioned the reflexive leap toward structural diagnoses and invited people to consider something far more uncomfortable (and empowering): that we are the source of much of our own suffering. Not because we’re to blame, but because we’ve never been taught how to interpret our experience differently.
That’s precisely the leap S.A.G.E. asks of people. We’ve spent over a century searching for better ways to fix ourselves, each other, and our relationships—without realizing that we’re operating from a faulty premise: that the problem lies outside of us, or in a fixed “truth” we simply haven’t found yet.
In truth, it’s often our way of interpreting that needs to evolve. Just as Sarno helped people reinterpret the signals their bodies were sending, S.A.G.E. helps people reinterpret the signals their minds, hearts, and relationships are sending.
The shift is radical. But it’s also liberating. And once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
I got my attention with you, Hannah and Kevin’s pleasing in me conversations. I’m exciting myself each time I watch the videos and looking forward for the next one. I believe the change will come. I don’t know when and how wide practiced I can witness myself while alive but I sense and feel the hope. I believe this will take time too, like all the quality values that take time with continuing work to embody, to settle in the personality, to become the lifestyle and to become one’s character.
P.S. I will sign up for that dating with who has interest practicing the S.A.G.E., or be ready to bring people who wants to learn the S.A.G.E. and date.
Thank you, Yasemin—let's hope creating these changes within ourselves doesn't take too much time. This is why I titled my piece Psychological Armageddon! Time is of the essence, and curiously, in my experience, change doesn't have to take a long time.
Jake, i encourage myself by reading - and rereading these words “ You stop looking to other people to make you okay. You know how to do that yourself.
You can learn the basics in a week.
You can get skillful in a month.
Proficient in six.
And you can live the rest of your life in a different state of consciousness.”
Yea yes yes! I admit i want to learn fast - and the practice is difficult.. with S.A.G.E. i am making the shift and it’s much more than original PERCEPT .
The last paragraph in GET WEIRD declared how John weir used to say it takes 5 years to completely alter our language patterns. Now with this substack blog— the weekly live sessions and blueprint - i feel as if i have found a shortcut — thanks!
I love how you said, “I encourage myself by reading — and rereading.” That’s S.A.G.E. in motion right there. You’re reminding yourself that you know how to make yourself okay — and that kind of inner reinforcement matters far more than external validation.
I totally relate to wanting to learn fast. I often feel that same urgency. And yet, what I’ve discovered is that once I get S.A.G.E. — not just in my head, but in my being — I don’t need to go fast. Because I’m not trying to outrun my pain anymore. I’m working with it instead of against it.
John used to say five years to fully rewire language — and I think he was right for that era. But now? With this community, the weekly sessions, and the clarity we’re offering in the blueprint, I do believe we’ve created a kind of shortcut — not because the work is less deep, but because the structure and the support are more precise.
So thank you for reflecting that back. And I’m grateful to be on the journey with you.
I look forward to your posts and youtube videos and am grateful for them! Please keep doing what you do because they are life changing. I am one of those people that you mentioned whom have done therapy over the years and still keep feeling stuck in the same old patterns.
Taking personal agency of my thoughts and emotions have helped undo some persistent beliefs that I have over the years. I’m very green to using the SAGE language and there are situations where I struggle to find the right words to make sense of it, thereby reverting back to OS2 language. Thanks for putting this knowledge out there, I appreciate you guys!
Thank you for writing and for receiving what we’re sharing so fully.
When I read your note, I feel encouraged. I recognize the shift you describe—when therapy helps but doesn’t quite move the needle, and then something clicks when you begin to take deeper ownership of your inner world. That’s been true for me too.
It makes sense to me that OS2 habits would still show up, especially when you’re just beginning with S.A.G.E. I’ve seen that happen often, and I’ve done it myself. For what it’s worth, when I’m uncertain how to speak, I usually find that slowing down helps more than having the “right” words. And sometimes silence speaks better than language still shaped by OS2.
I’m appreciating your presence in this community—and your willingness to practice out loud. That matters.
I am paying attention. I eagerly read each of your articles and have kept up with most of the youtube conversations. I’ve updated my operating system and have changed the way I think and perceive. I feel more clear and more empowered in my life than ever. In general, my mind is less disturbed, more settled and more focused on what truly matters to me. I’m still interested in a format to practice with others in the community.
I’ve shared your articles with my students, with a therapist, with my brother, with my dear friend and ACA buddy, and most of them don’t get it, or aren’t ready, yet. Some of my students are curious about SAGE and pay attention when I reinforce my passion for this new way. Although the shift has happened within me, I don’t always use the language. I definitely don’t use blame language and have observed and corrected myself using praise as manipulation. I still don’t trust fully using the language when I feel that I am in a conversation with someone who I perceive is inauthentic and deflecting accountability. Then, I believe the language becomes an invitation to scapegoating. I am still open to understanding more deeply.
For me, I was ripe for the shift out of blame games and into greater empowerment. The result, my brother and I have stopped talking to one another and I no longer see my nephews. Essentially, I have become estranged from my nuclear family and am facing the possibility that this is how things will go on. I accept this. I have traded a life-long dysfunctional family dynamic for greater clarity, health, and the hope of true peace.
For you and Hannah, it seems you both saw the benefits of the update and chose it together. For most of us, the people around us are not ready to change with us. They will fight and cling to the old ways at any cost. I get that we don’t need them to change for us to change, but since I am no longer entangled in the old dynamic, there is nothing more for me and my brother to say. To choose 0s3 means to stand in a new place and let the chips fall where they will. It means the possibility of the falling away of primary relationships. Maybe my brother will eventually come around to a new way of relating with me, but I am not holding my breath.
Furthermore, I am happily single. I don’t have a partner and children to attempt to shift with me. This makes it easier for me to change. Going forward, I couldn’t date anyone who is in 0s2, so this greatly limits my dating options and I’m ok with this. How many others would be?
My point being, I see a huge gravity with which folks keep themselves stuck in 0s2. I testify that your efforts are making a huge difference in my life, but at this time it may be more about quality rather than quantity. I use your articles and conversations to reinforce and deepen this new update in myself. I’m ready to take it to the next level, whatever that looks like. Please don’t go silent.
Thanks for taking the time to express yourself — the ways you use S.A.G.E., and the ways you hesitate. I relate to what you said about feeling clearer and more empowered in your life. Yes.
I make myself curious when you say the people you’ve shared S.A.G.E. with “aren’t ready.” Do you have a sense of what’s in the way for them? And maybe—just maybe—if you use the language with people you don’t fully trust, it might become a practice in trusting yourself more?
I’ve also experienced disconnection from people I was once close to. In my case, S.A.G.E. wasn’t the cause of the shift, but it helped me (I helped myself) feel more steady in the decision. It allowed me to see the separation more clearly and without the same entanglement or blame.
Yes, Hannah and I adopted S.A.G.E. at the same time. We shifted from a very healthy OS2 relationship to something much easier and healthier in OS3. I wouldn’t partner with someone who disregarded this orientation—it’s foundational for me. A kind of shared commitment to relate in a conscious, mature, considered way. At times, I’ve thought we should launch a S.A.G.E. dating service—just so people who live this way could find one another—but so far, the numbers are too small.
As I’ve matured, I’ve also come to value quality of impact over quantity. Still, I find myself wondering: why aren’t more people lining up to learn this? There’s so much unnecessary suffering, and S.A.G.E. offers a way for people to alleviate it for themselves. So no, I won’t go silent. I hope, and believe, that Kevin’s involvement will take us to new places. He’s exploring how to share S.A.G.E. with leaders in the field, with the hope that someone out there might choose to champion this work.
Thank you for your thoughts, Jake, and for your commitment to continuing to share this important paradigm shift. What I believe is in the way for people who I sense aren't ready, is that they simply do not want to be accountable for their lives. I believe that they believe that there is still some payoff for playing victim and passing blame. I have observed that some people seek sympathy as a substitute for love. I interpret that its a way of life for some folks to behave in ways that are destructive and then shift accountability. I see that many people have created an identity that is largely disparate from how they behave. If they started owning their stuff, this might open up a backlog of shame and self-doubt. I see that lots of folks have a full on addiction to suffering. I see that lots of folks just want to win and save face, even if means the loss of connection. I think folks just can't imagine that life could be better if they own their shit. And, like me, I suspect many do not want to invite blame and are concerned that if they use SAGE language, others will use it as an excuse to behave even more abusively.
I'm sitting with what you say about trusting myself more if I use the language with people I don't trust. It's not just that I hesitate to trust certain people, but that I have no doubt they are out to exploit and undermine me. Some people are really out to break ya, if they think they can. Sad, but true.
This is my take, based on my experience. I wonder if you've had family members that have been envious and resentful of you and wanted to take you down, destroy your life, and see you suffer?
Hmm—People who "wanted to take you down, destroy your life, and see you suffer?"
When I’m living in the S.A.G.E. orientation, I don’t experience others as having that kind of power. Maybe in rare, extreme circumstances, but in most situations, I find that the more I trust myself, the less I believe anyone else can “take me down.” They might disapprove of me, leave me, criticize me, or try to undermine me. But destroy my life? Make me suffer? For me, that only becomes possible if I hand them that power. And that’s what I try not to do anymore.
I don’t mean that as a spiritual bypass or a slogan—I mean it in the most personal, moment-to-moment way. When I’m fully in S.A.G.E., I experience myself as the one generating my experience. That doesn’t make me invincible, but it does make me responsible. And strangely… that feels like a kind of freedom.
Thanks again for being in this conversation. I see the depth you’re bringing.
I agree that people don't have that power over me anymore. Having a borderline/addicted parent as a child/teen, was for me, as I describe. I realize this might seem out there to you, but yes, I had a sadistic parent and I am lucky to have made it out alive. The whole family was deeply dysfunctional and everyone played an unconscious part, including me. It's been a long road to freedom and the biggest part of that has been learning to take accountability for my experience, which for me has meant leaving some of these people.
I'm discomforting myself in sharing the above, however, I truly am interested to hear how you believe 0S3 language would help with such people. I can certainly know it in my mind and get it, but speaking it to vicious people only seems an invitation for more attack and toxic dismissiveness. I am open and listening, not closed and decided.
What comes up for me is how different it is to be a child than it is to be an adult—especially an adult who has begun to individuate. As children, we are vulnerable in ways we aren’t once we’ve stepped into our own agency. It sounds to me like that’s something you’re doing, and I celebrate this.
When I work with people who’ve lived through extremely difficult family dynamics, one of the most important shifts I support them in making is this: learning how to stop living inside the old stories. Not to deny or dismiss what happened—but to stop returning to the past in a way that keeps the old meanings alive. Because those meanings can easily reify limiting beliefs that don’t fit the present reality.
OS3 isn’t just a way of speaking—it’s a way of orienting. And one of its greatest strengths is in how it helps us separate other people’s projections from our sense of self. It’s not about being passive or polite. It’s about making ourselves so clear that manipulation, blame, or cruelty no longer confuse us or define us. Even when they show up.
As for your thoughts about what's in the way for others—I hear you. Yes, some people resist responsibility. Some use suffering to connect or gain attention. I’ve seen that too. And maybe a few of those folks stumble across S.A.G.E.
But I make myself more curious about the ones who seem open. The thoughtful, sincere people who’ve done the work, who seem hungry for clarity and agency—why don’t more of them leap at this? That’s a question I keep sitting with. Maybe it’s because the S.A.G.E. orientation asks something quietly radical. It doesn’t just offer tools—it invites a whole new way of experiencing the world. And that kind of shift, even when welcome, can be unsettling.
PS, also in part due to SAGE, I have greatly stopped myself from taking other's behaviors and attitudes personally. In this way, i have made a huge difference in my level of peace. ;)
Especially not immediately buying into something medical diagnosis such as a slipped disc as the cause of the pain when the real cause is psychological—e.g., a fear that isn’t readily apparent as the cause.
Dr Howard Schubiner posits that most chronic pain has no structural cause but rather the mind sending a warning “danger” signal as pain. The pain is real and he helps people develop personal agency in dealing with the pain through various mental methodologies. How that relates to OS3 is that you are helping individuals to take personal responsibility for their emotional pain rather than projecting it out onto others or life circumstances.
You got my attention Jake. Brilliant in me too. I will spread the information by sending gifts to the people I know. Action speaks louder than words for me ( not said in autopilot). I percive you a very generous person. Thank you and Hannah for your contribution to the world by recreating this work and more, also for making this valuable information easy to spread for me to share with others. A change will come. Take good care, much love, Yasemin
Im listening! Im exciting myself to become more acquainted with S.A.G.E. ! Im so appreciating you all in reaching out to us to help us learn. This is totally new to me, & Im challenging myself to learn to learn & speak the language. Thank you!
Judy—
Thank you so much for writing. And thank you for your energy and openness — we’re appreciating you right back. The way you said “I’m challenging myself” stood out. That use of language is a beautiful demonstration of S.A.G.E. and agency. We excite ourselves to witness people experimenting with S.A.G.E. in real time.
We recognize — just from the way you wrote your message — that you’re not only learning this language, you may already be starting to live it.
We hope you keep going.
We’ll be right here with you.
I’m reminded of the Mindbody (psychophsyiologic) model used in the chronic pain field.
Hi Jake, Hannah and Kevin,
I AM DEFINITELY LISTENING AND AWAITING EACH NEW PODCAST AND POST‼️
I haven’t had much opportunity to use the new language, but I move myself each time I listen to your podcast and wish I could be there during the actual time of the podcast, but due to the other things in my life, I’m usually listening to it after, and so appreciate that I can listen to it repeatedly.
A very important person in my life did his best to share this brilliant form of communication with me when I was not clear enough to get it.. at the time I was operating at a substandard form ofOS2, and lost myself and our relationship.
I was so grateful when you sent out the blueprint which gave me so much clarity. I read it the very moment,
I opened the email, when first offered it. And I have not missed any of your podcast I am definitely listening, and I am committed to taking full responsibility for the meaning in my life and, in my experiences, and in my relationships, from now forward.
PLEASE keep doing this. I believe that as we share this new way of living in communicating with the people in our lives that it will reach a critical point…
Debi—
Thank you for this moving message. It’s clear that you’re engaging with the Blueprint and the podcasts with deep sincerity and openness. When you wrote that the Blueprint “gave you clarity,” what I see is that you clarified yourself—and that distinction matters. That’s agency. That’s the shift we’re speaking to.
Your willingness to take responsibility for meaning and experience comes through strongly. And your voice adds to the momentum. We’ll keep going, and we’re grateful you’re with us.
Reading, thinking, and employing some of the SAGE techniques. Thank you for your sharing!
Liz—Don't hesitate to ask questions if you have any...
Jake, this is brilliant. I can 'feel' your voice. I am one of the fortunate ones who did this original work with John and Joyce Weir who selected Jake and Hannah as their successors. This work has been pivotal in my life. Has changed my perspective of Life. And it stays with me. I urge anyone who reads this to take this golden, brilliant opportunity to shift your inner perspective entirely for the better. You will experience EXPERIENCE life differently. You will be present in a way that is new. And exciting. Luminous. You will feel a clarity of being that you have not experienced before. Give yourself this Gift of feeling more alive than you ever have. Do the work.
Rosi—I move myself with your words.
Coming from someone who experienced being with John and Joyce—and lives the orientation—your words carry weight, warmth, and wisdom. I’m deeply grateful for your voice in this space.
You remind us what’s possible when this work becomes embodied, not just understood. There’s a lived luminosity in what you wrote—one I hope others will feel drawn toward.
Thank you for encouraging others to take the leap. For showing what it looks like when we do.
Thanks for bringing Percept (the original name) / S.A.G.E. (the new name) to life.
Schubiner has been influenced by John Sarno and has benefited by recent research in neuroplasticity.
Thank you, Ralph. Your insight is spot on.
What Sarno did for chronic physical pain, we’re attempting to do for emotional pain.
He challenged the conventional wisdom—he questioned the reflexive leap toward structural diagnoses and invited people to consider something far more uncomfortable (and empowering): that we are the source of much of our own suffering. Not because we’re to blame, but because we’ve never been taught how to interpret our experience differently.
That’s precisely the leap S.A.G.E. asks of people. We’ve spent over a century searching for better ways to fix ourselves, each other, and our relationships—without realizing that we’re operating from a faulty premise: that the problem lies outside of us, or in a fixed “truth” we simply haven’t found yet.
In truth, it’s often our way of interpreting that needs to evolve. Just as Sarno helped people reinterpret the signals their bodies were sending, S.A.G.E. helps people reinterpret the signals their minds, hearts, and relationships are sending.
The shift is radical. But it’s also liberating. And once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
Appreciate your thoughtful connection.
Holding you, Hannah and Kevin in my heart. Grateful for leaping myself with S.A.G.E.
I'm listening and hearing myself. I encourage myself to experience myself and others differently. Thank you.
I got my attention with you, Hannah and Kevin’s pleasing in me conversations. I’m exciting myself each time I watch the videos and looking forward for the next one. I believe the change will come. I don’t know when and how wide practiced I can witness myself while alive but I sense and feel the hope. I believe this will take time too, like all the quality values that take time with continuing work to embody, to settle in the personality, to become the lifestyle and to become one’s character.
P.S. I will sign up for that dating with who has interest practicing the S.A.G.E., or be ready to bring people who wants to learn the S.A.G.E. and date.
Thank you, Yasemin—let's hope creating these changes within ourselves doesn't take too much time. This is why I titled my piece Psychological Armageddon! Time is of the essence, and curiously, in my experience, change doesn't have to take a long time.
Jake, i encourage myself by reading - and rereading these words “ You stop looking to other people to make you okay. You know how to do that yourself.
You can learn the basics in a week.
You can get skillful in a month.
Proficient in six.
And you can live the rest of your life in a different state of consciousness.”
Yea yes yes! I admit i want to learn fast - and the practice is difficult.. with S.A.G.E. i am making the shift and it’s much more than original PERCEPT .
The last paragraph in GET WEIRD declared how John weir used to say it takes 5 years to completely alter our language patterns. Now with this substack blog— the weekly live sessions and blueprint - i feel as if i have found a shortcut — thanks!
I love how you said, “I encourage myself by reading — and rereading.” That’s S.A.G.E. in motion right there. You’re reminding yourself that you know how to make yourself okay — and that kind of inner reinforcement matters far more than external validation.
I totally relate to wanting to learn fast. I often feel that same urgency. And yet, what I’ve discovered is that once I get S.A.G.E. — not just in my head, but in my being — I don’t need to go fast. Because I’m not trying to outrun my pain anymore. I’m working with it instead of against it.
John used to say five years to fully rewire language — and I think he was right for that era. But now? With this community, the weekly sessions, and the clarity we’re offering in the blueprint, I do believe we’ve created a kind of shortcut — not because the work is less deep, but because the structure and the support are more precise.
So thank you for reflecting that back. And I’m grateful to be on the journey with you.
Hi Jake,
I look forward to your posts and youtube videos and am grateful for them! Please keep doing what you do because they are life changing. I am one of those people that you mentioned whom have done therapy over the years and still keep feeling stuck in the same old patterns.
Taking personal agency of my thoughts and emotions have helped undo some persistent beliefs that I have over the years. I’m very green to using the SAGE language and there are situations where I struggle to find the right words to make sense of it, thereby reverting back to OS2 language. Thanks for putting this knowledge out there, I appreciate you guys!
Hi Sue—
Thank you for writing and for receiving what we’re sharing so fully.
When I read your note, I feel encouraged. I recognize the shift you describe—when therapy helps but doesn’t quite move the needle, and then something clicks when you begin to take deeper ownership of your inner world. That’s been true for me too.
It makes sense to me that OS2 habits would still show up, especially when you’re just beginning with S.A.G.E. I’ve seen that happen often, and I’ve done it myself. For what it’s worth, when I’m uncertain how to speak, I usually find that slowing down helps more than having the “right” words. And sometimes silence speaks better than language still shaped by OS2.
I’m appreciating your presence in this community—and your willingness to practice out loud. That matters.
Let's continue—
Jake
Hi Jake,
I am paying attention. I eagerly read each of your articles and have kept up with most of the youtube conversations. I’ve updated my operating system and have changed the way I think and perceive. I feel more clear and more empowered in my life than ever. In general, my mind is less disturbed, more settled and more focused on what truly matters to me. I’m still interested in a format to practice with others in the community.
I’ve shared your articles with my students, with a therapist, with my brother, with my dear friend and ACA buddy, and most of them don’t get it, or aren’t ready, yet. Some of my students are curious about SAGE and pay attention when I reinforce my passion for this new way. Although the shift has happened within me, I don’t always use the language. I definitely don’t use blame language and have observed and corrected myself using praise as manipulation. I still don’t trust fully using the language when I feel that I am in a conversation with someone who I perceive is inauthentic and deflecting accountability. Then, I believe the language becomes an invitation to scapegoating. I am still open to understanding more deeply.
For me, I was ripe for the shift out of blame games and into greater empowerment. The result, my brother and I have stopped talking to one another and I no longer see my nephews. Essentially, I have become estranged from my nuclear family and am facing the possibility that this is how things will go on. I accept this. I have traded a life-long dysfunctional family dynamic for greater clarity, health, and the hope of true peace.
For you and Hannah, it seems you both saw the benefits of the update and chose it together. For most of us, the people around us are not ready to change with us. They will fight and cling to the old ways at any cost. I get that we don’t need them to change for us to change, but since I am no longer entangled in the old dynamic, there is nothing more for me and my brother to say. To choose 0s3 means to stand in a new place and let the chips fall where they will. It means the possibility of the falling away of primary relationships. Maybe my brother will eventually come around to a new way of relating with me, but I am not holding my breath.
Furthermore, I am happily single. I don’t have a partner and children to attempt to shift with me. This makes it easier for me to change. Going forward, I couldn’t date anyone who is in 0s2, so this greatly limits my dating options and I’m ok with this. How many others would be?
My point being, I see a huge gravity with which folks keep themselves stuck in 0s2. I testify that your efforts are making a huge difference in my life, but at this time it may be more about quality rather than quantity. I use your articles and conversations to reinforce and deepen this new update in myself. I’m ready to take it to the next level, whatever that looks like. Please don’t go silent.
Appreciatively, Celeste
Celeste,
Thanks for taking the time to express yourself — the ways you use S.A.G.E., and the ways you hesitate. I relate to what you said about feeling clearer and more empowered in your life. Yes.
I make myself curious when you say the people you’ve shared S.A.G.E. with “aren’t ready.” Do you have a sense of what’s in the way for them? And maybe—just maybe—if you use the language with people you don’t fully trust, it might become a practice in trusting yourself more?
I’ve also experienced disconnection from people I was once close to. In my case, S.A.G.E. wasn’t the cause of the shift, but it helped me (I helped myself) feel more steady in the decision. It allowed me to see the separation more clearly and without the same entanglement or blame.
Yes, Hannah and I adopted S.A.G.E. at the same time. We shifted from a very healthy OS2 relationship to something much easier and healthier in OS3. I wouldn’t partner with someone who disregarded this orientation—it’s foundational for me. A kind of shared commitment to relate in a conscious, mature, considered way. At times, I’ve thought we should launch a S.A.G.E. dating service—just so people who live this way could find one another—but so far, the numbers are too small.
As I’ve matured, I’ve also come to value quality of impact over quantity. Still, I find myself wondering: why aren’t more people lining up to learn this? There’s so much unnecessary suffering, and S.A.G.E. offers a way for people to alleviate it for themselves. So no, I won’t go silent. I hope, and believe, that Kevin’s involvement will take us to new places. He’s exploring how to share S.A.G.E. with leaders in the field, with the hope that someone out there might choose to champion this work.
Onward.
Thank you for your thoughts, Jake, and for your commitment to continuing to share this important paradigm shift. What I believe is in the way for people who I sense aren't ready, is that they simply do not want to be accountable for their lives. I believe that they believe that there is still some payoff for playing victim and passing blame. I have observed that some people seek sympathy as a substitute for love. I interpret that its a way of life for some folks to behave in ways that are destructive and then shift accountability. I see that many people have created an identity that is largely disparate from how they behave. If they started owning their stuff, this might open up a backlog of shame and self-doubt. I see that lots of folks have a full on addiction to suffering. I see that lots of folks just want to win and save face, even if means the loss of connection. I think folks just can't imagine that life could be better if they own their shit. And, like me, I suspect many do not want to invite blame and are concerned that if they use SAGE language, others will use it as an excuse to behave even more abusively.
I'm sitting with what you say about trusting myself more if I use the language with people I don't trust. It's not just that I hesitate to trust certain people, but that I have no doubt they are out to exploit and undermine me. Some people are really out to break ya, if they think they can. Sad, but true.
This is my take, based on my experience. I wonder if you've had family members that have been envious and resentful of you and wanted to take you down, destroy your life, and see you suffer?
Hmm—People who "wanted to take you down, destroy your life, and see you suffer?"
When I’m living in the S.A.G.E. orientation, I don’t experience others as having that kind of power. Maybe in rare, extreme circumstances, but in most situations, I find that the more I trust myself, the less I believe anyone else can “take me down.” They might disapprove of me, leave me, criticize me, or try to undermine me. But destroy my life? Make me suffer? For me, that only becomes possible if I hand them that power. And that’s what I try not to do anymore.
I don’t mean that as a spiritual bypass or a slogan—I mean it in the most personal, moment-to-moment way. When I’m fully in S.A.G.E., I experience myself as the one generating my experience. That doesn’t make me invincible, but it does make me responsible. And strangely… that feels like a kind of freedom.
Thanks again for being in this conversation. I see the depth you’re bringing.
Onward,
Jake
I agree that people don't have that power over me anymore. Having a borderline/addicted parent as a child/teen, was for me, as I describe. I realize this might seem out there to you, but yes, I had a sadistic parent and I am lucky to have made it out alive. The whole family was deeply dysfunctional and everyone played an unconscious part, including me. It's been a long road to freedom and the biggest part of that has been learning to take accountability for my experience, which for me has meant leaving some of these people.
I'm discomforting myself in sharing the above, however, I truly am interested to hear how you believe 0S3 language would help with such people. I can certainly know it in my mind and get it, but speaking it to vicious people only seems an invitation for more attack and toxic dismissiveness. I am open and listening, not closed and decided.
Also, I am curious about what you think of my answer to "what's in the way" for those seemingly not ready for SAGE.
Thank you for continuing to share.
What comes up for me is how different it is to be a child than it is to be an adult—especially an adult who has begun to individuate. As children, we are vulnerable in ways we aren’t once we’ve stepped into our own agency. It sounds to me like that’s something you’re doing, and I celebrate this.
When I work with people who’ve lived through extremely difficult family dynamics, one of the most important shifts I support them in making is this: learning how to stop living inside the old stories. Not to deny or dismiss what happened—but to stop returning to the past in a way that keeps the old meanings alive. Because those meanings can easily reify limiting beliefs that don’t fit the present reality.
OS3 isn’t just a way of speaking—it’s a way of orienting. And one of its greatest strengths is in how it helps us separate other people’s projections from our sense of self. It’s not about being passive or polite. It’s about making ourselves so clear that manipulation, blame, or cruelty no longer confuse us or define us. Even when they show up.
As for your thoughts about what's in the way for others—I hear you. Yes, some people resist responsibility. Some use suffering to connect or gain attention. I’ve seen that too. And maybe a few of those folks stumble across S.A.G.E.
But I make myself more curious about the ones who seem open. The thoughtful, sincere people who’ve done the work, who seem hungry for clarity and agency—why don’t more of them leap at this? That’s a question I keep sitting with. Maybe it’s because the S.A.G.E. orientation asks something quietly radical. It doesn’t just offer tools—it invites a whole new way of experiencing the world. And that kind of shift, even when welcome, can be unsettling.
Warmly,
Jake
PS, also in part due to SAGE, I have greatly stopped myself from taking other's behaviors and attitudes personally. In this way, i have made a huge difference in my level of peace. ;)
Especially not immediately buying into something medical diagnosis such as a slipped disc as the cause of the pain when the real cause is psychological—e.g., a fear that isn’t readily apparent as the cause.
Dr Howard Schubiner posits that most chronic pain has no structural cause but rather the mind sending a warning “danger” signal as pain. The pain is real and he helps people develop personal agency in dealing with the pain through various mental methodologies. How that relates to OS3 is that you are helping individuals to take personal responsibility for their emotional pain rather than projecting it out onto others or life circumstances.
You got my attention Jake. Brilliant in me too. I will spread the information by sending gifts to the people I know. Action speaks louder than words for me ( not said in autopilot). I percive you a very generous person. Thank you and Hannah for your contribution to the world by recreating this work and more, also for making this valuable information easy to spread for me to share with others. A change will come. Take good care, much love, Yasemin